A canvas - Dots of classes, Strokes of tests, and Splashes of hope

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Tom Cotter

I saw.....mother fucking Tom Cotter.....he was flippin hillarious....

Anyways, sorry for the short posts, the computers in the dorm have a tendency of losing their connection so it helps to do all your stuff really fast. Anyways, to catch you up on what's been going on Im sitting here squandering my prescious time.....because I love you all and you're worth it.

I meantioned above that I saw Tom Cotter and that was no hoax people. He came and did a show on campus and I had the luck of getting a front row seat. He was great, though I wish the show would have been a bit longer. It was worth it though. You'd be surprised how many people dont know who Tom Cotter is...

I left such a cryptic message about Liz that one might think I was under some sort of mind-altering substance...truth be told that I was not. I've done a complete turn around with my opinion of Liz, and once again i think very well of her. She explained a little bit and it helped. The guy that was all on her last week is in her animal science class also, hence how she knows him...but she didn't much like how he was practically on top of her the whole time. She hates answering her phone, even for friends, so it's nothing personal. So, in class Tuesday, she sat a row ahead of me again and I was about to just ignore her the whole time but then....I kicked her chair and got her attention. And then we talked and then...I moved next to her...b/c she needs help in Chemistry. And yesterday we went to this cool calm lounge place over the cafeteria to study...for a few hours. It was fun and we laughed a good bit. We're going to do it again tomorrow so i'm looking forward to that....though since im comming home tomorrow also, I cant go to the pig roast with her.....*tear*

Maybe it's just me but does anyone else see anything in the slightest wrong with animal science students having a pig roast?

I'm seriously thinking of changing majors now...engineering isnt what I thought it would be. I'll tell you more about that later though...i'm getting really hungry and i do have a schedule like thing to keep so.....see you all later.

P.S. - Caity, please dont kill me....I know I keep forgetting my address but.....Im a college guy....what did you expect silly?

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Liz

Liz is not bad. Liz is cool. I'm tutoring her now in Chemistry. It's all coolies. I really need to stop assuming things now...seeing as how its usually a bad thing to do.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Illness

I hope im not getting sick. I've felt weird for the past few days, but im not sick. I dont need to be sick. If i get sick, im screwed. Anyways, im taking my vitamins and drinking my OJ so lets hope it goes away. There was an explosion in one of the frat houses earlier...it shook the whole dorm and there was a good deal of smoke over there.....dont know what happened though....i didnt investigate.

Um, im bored...hence the 2 posts in one day. So.....lots of work...and me thinking of changing majors.....

II - Addendum #2

Internet ate my beautiful post last night. To summarize what it was about, I give you a broken sentence. Well, a few.

Me class Liz there boys around. No look at me. Attention on others. Me heart sad. Me walk, she pitiful smile. Me church talk Will. Will me help. Feel good. Worry no.

Im thinking of switiching Majors by the way....

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

II - He Works in Mysterious Ways

Alrighty. So, let me get right down to the topic that has been most on my mind for the past few days. If you know me at all then im sure you know what this topic is....consider my previous post and it should stand out like a neon sign. I'll give you a hint.

Her name is only 3 letters long...

Yesterday I was pretty happy about going to Chem. class again. I had my hair perfect, sprayed myself with my Axe, and just, was cheery all around. Of course, I had to sit through 2 hours of Economics firstm but i didnt mind. All I could think about was.....yeah. So, we got out early, b/c 2 hours is pretty harsh on the posterior, and I simply headed over to Chem. with my friend Felix. It was a 30 minute wait for class to start but i really didnt mind. I simply just wanted to talk to ___. Finally she comes in and I didnt notice her at first, considering I cant even remember her face no matter how much I look at her, but then the realization hit me in 1/2 a second and I flashed my genuine smile.....and just watched as she passed me up, heading to another row. Well, I was a bit confused....shock maybe, though that word is a bit extreme. This was the same girl that went through a gamut of chairs to sit with me not but a few days ago. But there she went. I didn't think much of it and just turned myself around to talk to her. And then, after a minute I joined her up in her new row (Im a jackass like that, but im learing so cut me some slack). We talked a little, nothing really too in-depth like before, and she seemed a little...disinterested with me. Now that part I did notice pretty quickly. I mean, I may be dense at times, and I surely have no experience in this department, but im not stupid. I do know how to pick up on the small things.

After class, instead of us walking to her car and having a little chat, she just left. Not a glance back at me to see if I was following...just up and outta there. For a moment I contemplated catching up with her....but then I'm not THAT stupid, so I just said, "Oh well" and walked my lonely self back to the dorms.

That incident was on my mind all day and I just couldn't stop thinking about it. Music didnt help and I just couldn't really focus on any work. At about 7 I went for a walk. I was determined to clear my head of her....or die trying. Anyways, I walked around for a good time, but then I passed by this on campus ministry that I had visited a few times before. I decided to check out what was happening and I met up with an Intern, Will, once again and we talked. I didn't know bible study was that night so it was a nice surprise. I ended up staying and meeting some new people. But mainly, what I got from it really helped me put things in perspective. I've been so caught up in what I want that I completely forgot that God has a plan for everyone.

It's a simple sentence really, but it holds incredible power. He has a plan for us all. What happens will happen for a reason. Needless to say, im much better now. While I AM still thinking about ___, Im not as hooked as I was before I went to church. I realize that if im meant to be with ___ then we will be together, if not then im content with just being friends. It makes me remember that my mommy has a gift of being able to see what the future has for people in our family. She told me that I wont find that special person until later in my life. Once i get my career up and going it'll be a few years before I marry. Im starting to think that she's right. I feel that for some reason, I just am not completely ready to have a realationship with anyone. I dont know why im incapable of doing so, but I just feel it. It's like....I need more training....more growing. Its good to be able to tell you that Im ok now, so dont worry about me girlies! your dear Corwin will be a-ok as he now has more on his mind than just what he wants. He's got perspective and it's falling in place for him.

He might just turn out to be a man one of these days yet.

Friday, September 16, 2005

College Chronicle: Chapter I

Ready to read?

Ok so, Saturday was moving day. After the hour drive to campus, it took another 2 hours to actaully get into my dorm room. What they dont tell you is that the whole campus seems to die on the weekends. All the buildings close and no one's around. So, it took some time to actually find anyone of inportance to get me checked in and into my room. That especially wasnt fun with all the walking around and what not at 5 p.m. in the afternoon. Lemme tell you, it gets hot as hell out there. I know this to be true for a FACT.

So we get into the room, and it's already a mess. The room mate had the room all set up to accomodate himself, as if he were living on his own. And to boot, he left all his things just willy-nilly in the room. There was trash to be taken out, food sitting on the desk, his X-Box was still on. But he was MIA. So, we went ahead and made the 3 trips from the car to the 11th floor and got my things set up. He came in finally and good ole mommy jumped on his ass and told him how it was gonna be. Needless to say, i didn't interrupt.

Mommy and my cousin left, and there were a few tears on their part. It almost made me cry too, but i had to be strong. I went back up to the room and set up all my knick-knacks. I tried talking to my room mate, who I had happened to meet during orientation last month, and I followed him that night to see his friends. But it was out on the tennis courts at midnight that i realized he was an ass and I should be around him as little as possible. Im sure you wonder how that occured so...in detail...here it is. If you know me then maybe it will make sense to you ---- We were on the tennis courts at midnight watching his friends play 2 on 1. It was pretty boring, i dont know why i stayed as long as i did in the first place. But anyway, i told the room mate, Ronald, that we should go find some ladies. I was joking of course, in that guy tak sort of way, but it went WAY over his head and he was serious with his reply, "Uh, nah, you can go find some girls bro." I left promptly after that. It was with that response that he clarified to me what kind of person he was. Im not sure how to explain it...you had to be there, but lest you think that i was too hasty, my powers of perception about him were dead on from day one. Im glad i walked away.

On the way back to the dorm, I had some quite thinking to do. I looked at what i had done in the past, the way i had handled friends and personality that I had always held onto during highschool. I realized that I was in college. A simple sentence, but powerful nonetheless. This is my chance to build who I am to be for the next 4 years of my life. I used to be shy and very iffy about friends. I always wanted more, but that was really selfish, and I had trouble accepting them for what they were. By the time I got back to the dorm I had it figured out. I figured out who I am going to be....simply me. The true me. What better place to do it anyway?

Alrighty so, instead of just going through all of the days and little details that mean nothing, im just going to go through the exciting things. If you can call them that.

I met a guy named James. He was in the Air Force for 6 years and he's a freshman at Tech too, a fellow Electrical Engineering major to boot. Since the Engineering majors all have block classes, he's in like 3 of my classes. He's a cool guy and we're becomming cool buddies.

I met a few Magnet graduates at Tech too. Quite a few are in my building so it's nice to see some familiar faces. I actually watched the Ring 2 with a group of them in their kick ass room Monday night i belive.

Wednesday I found the girl that i bowled with at orientation, Jolie'. She's busy busy so i'll have to catch up with her next week. She's a funny girl though, not on purpose, just its easy to laugh with her.

And finally, the best is always last as you know. Her name is Liz, short for Elizabeth needless to say, but said anyway. She's in my Chemistry class and it's one of the few that actually has more than 2 girls in it. I thought I had made good time to get to class, but 15 minutes early and the room was still packed. So, to avoid the eyes of fellow classmates, I choose a random seat and just hurried to it. I made some small talk to the girl next to me, Liz, and it actually turned into somethng slightly deeper. It was an interesting talk and I enjoyed it very much. So, class over. I walked with her to her car, since she really had no idea where she parked at. We eventually found her SUV and we made plans to do something on Thursday. She even said capeesh, that's how cool that was.

Thursday's class was a little faster than the first, but still a little slow going. I came to class before Liz and it was pretty cool to see her come to ME, something anyone rarely does. Anyways, class over. Liz and I made a unanimous agreement to eat. So, we went over to the Chik-fil-A in the student center, got our food and sat pretty much alone and just talked for a while. I wont really tell you what I learned about her or what we talked about since that would defeat the whole thing we have going on. Um, not too much more to say about that. I guess i'll have to see if anything else happens next week. Positive thinking and just taking it slow. Being myself (cool as i am) and just being a good guy. It's actually pretty easy to relax around her, she's just one of those people you know?

I talk to much dont I? I think i'll stop here for now. Keep on the lookout for Chapter II whenever that happens.

[EDIT] - I forgot to mention the 2 a.m. Fire alarm prank on Thursday morning. It wasnt fun...

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Director's Cut