Never Use Tape For A Mummy Costume

Friday was my birthday, and also the day of the Fall Ball at the Wesly Foundation. I decided to dress up as a mummy...since supplies for that costume are very cheap. I bought 40 yards of Ace athletic tape for the job, since it was white and just looked good. I shaved my under arms and belly in preparation for it too. I forgot my arms though. Mark wrapped me up....and did too good of a job at it...being one of those guys who wraps up injured sports players on the field, he wrapped me up tight. It was actually too tight and I had him cut a few of the strands in order to keep my limbs alive...and just b/c I like breathing too. He had to leave before 7 though so I stayed in my room and kept ripping the tape, trying to make it as comfortable as possible. At last I got to a point where it actually felt bearable so i went to the Wesly and had a good time. Everyone said my costume was really good, though it still hurt a lot under my arms. So, after a while i decided it was time to get it off...and since I knew i couldnt do it alone, I asked someone to help while it was available to me. Mark, who's a preacher for the church my outreach is going to, and I went to the chapel and proceeded to unwrap me. The pain was nearly unbearable....at first we did little sections at a time, ripping them off fast and then waiting a few seconds then doing it again....but that just prolonged the pain....so at last I told him to just pull.....not to stop, just to keep pulling. So, my arms came off in one long strip, the pain actually feeling less when made in such a big batch. Then the torso went and the stips under my arms were the absolute worst...the skin being so tender under there to begin with. After it all came off, I was very red and had stripes of tape residue on me. There's actually a little bit still there but it's comming off everyday. So, if you ever decide to be a mummy for Halloween, dont use any sort of tape...or if you do, dont wrap yourself up tight.......I actually like the IDEA of being a mummy....but cloth will definetly be in use the next time around.

Friday night I told Candace that I had a crush on her and she rejected me. I was climbing the steps of my dorm and Andy was comming out. He asked me what I was doing and I said nothing...still feeling a bit hurt by Candace. He said did i want to some with him to someone's house and I accepted the offer. So, we went to Seth's house and a few more people came. We decided to go to the school's playground that was only a block away and we played there for a while....it was freezing though being 1 at night. Then we all went back and then Andy and I came back and that was that. Last night was a football game here on campus and I really wasnt going to go to it....but I was writing and suddenly wanted to see what Andy was doing. I went to his room and hung out with him for a while. Then, since he was going to the game, I came along too. It was actually an exciting game, truth me told, and the Bulldogs won 28 to 14. Andy told me there was a party at Courtney's house after the game and asked if I wanted to come. I accepted and after the game we headed out to her place. There were quite a few people there and it was a really fun party. I actually danced a lot....and dancing is somthing I NEVER used to like doing. But...it was good and I had lots of fun. I bonded with some more people and Now I realize that my rejection was the Lords way of showing me that.....the sort of love that I was seeking isnt right for me to have right now....but the love of my friends is where I'll grow. And I catually agree with it when I think about it.

He sure has a way of doing things doesn't he?

Oh, and since I've been having crushes way too easily....which I admit is my biggest weakness that i'm trying to fix....i've been writting about them like I did with Sara all that time ago. I still have to thank you so much for introducing the idea to me Cait since it's actually helped me greatly here. And it's doubling as a way for my writing talents to come out and be showcased. Of course I dont use names but the way i write it is just magnificent....though I am a bit biased on that front. And that's all that's happend that's worth nothing. Till I post again.

~Love ya~

Cat = Bite = Infection

I got bit by the worlds meanest cat this morning. It hurt....needless to say.

Ok so, yesterday I was little quiet with my post. Indeed, the sunset really was making me feel weird. But, it's nice and bright outside now and I think I can write a little more now.

To start with, I failed my Engineering class and had to drop it in order to keep my GPA up for the scholarships and what-not. Turns out Engineering and I are not compatable together, so im in the process of finding another major that best suits me. Im thinking maybe Theatre but i've always been scared to act on that feeling. I guess I just dont want my family to think badly of me for not bringing in a butt-load of moola. But, I think i've got the bug and i'm more than willing to act on it. (Hehehe, I made a pun)

I've also been meeting a lot of new people, which is completely the opposite of how I used to be, but it's more of a reflection of how I truly am. I love people and I love interacting with them. For the past 4 years I was confined to the house of my upbringing but now that I have this freedom, im determined not to squander it. Something I never used to have the courage to do was to simply introduce myself to new people, especially with others around them also. But recently it's become easier and easier to do this, and I dont regret it for one minute. I've met more people now, in the past 7 weeks, than I have in about all 4 years of highschool. But numbers aren't important. It's the merit of these people that make them awesome. Good Christian people who simply love each other. Nothing shallow or superficial....just real. It's a weird concept to realize but its true. Also, I think the biggest difference is that now....i'm actually happy.

I fasted for the first time a day ago. I did it b/c I was seeking the Lord's direction with where he wanted me to be in life. Actually, I still am looking but this morning I woke up and just realized that I'm looking way too hard. It just clicked like that. But, also, I didnt like my fast b/c I feel like I didnt do it right from the start. But it was my first and I'm not discoraged at all. I mean, you cant learn unless you try right? So, I plan on fasting again, maybe for a little longer next time. And please dont think that b/c im talking about it in this manner that it isnt very important to me. But computers have a hard time reflecting tone so..this is tha best I can do.

Liz and I are on a higher level now. We are really friends, and i'm mucho happy with that. In fact, i've taken a different position (if only momentary) on relationships completely. I think I can finally be content with being alone. Although technically I'm NOT alone. The Lord is always here, now and forever, and that's good enough for me. I mean, he created everything...all of this is his doing. So why have a creation when you can have the creator himself? Maybe it's weird to word it like that but the feeling is there. The Lord must come before all and that's how it's supposed to be. Im not saying it's easy though.....it really isnt. But....the motivation is there...the will power is there and I hope he'll keep strengthening me to hold this position. It's all about him, not us.

For the past 2 days i've met some really cool girls. Tuesday, after the bible study type session that happened at the place that's my new hangout (called the Wesly Foundation) I met a twin. Her name is Holly, though i've forgotten her sister's name. I only talked to Holly anyways, so that's my I mention her. She's graduated school already as an Art major and has a job with an organization around here In Ruston.....I forget what it's called also. She's part of this pseudo-underground club sort of deal. It's called Nomadnights and what they do is screen films. I believe they're short independent type films which is cool, but they only do it on certain nights, and it's all low low key. Like, not many people know about it, and it's always at some indisclosed location for one night only. To me, it's an uber-cool idea, and I've been personally invited to the next one in about a week or so. I got a nice little card too, so I feel special. Holly is awesome, and I hope to talk to her again soon. Get to know each other better and get a friendship going you know?

Last night I was at the Wesly waiting to set up for an event called Laid-Back Lunch that happend every Thursday at noon. I met this girl named Asa and I talked to her for a little while. She's an Art major and she was doing roughs for her class today. We got to talking a good conversation and she wrote me a list of books to read. She's a busy girl and that reminds me of a friend I have. There's really not much more to say about Asa, but she's cool.

Jacob, the "Set-up Master" finally arrived and we got started on setting up for Laid-Back Lunch. There was also a group of girls meeting at the Wesly for their Chill Group which is ecaxtly what it sounds like. So, after the table were set, the girls helped with the chair placement. That's when I met Ashley and "Haley". I put Haley in quotes b/c I dont remember if that's her real name. Sorry. But Ashley and I talked for a little bit and she's just a very sociable person. I mean...i've never talked to a girl and gotten a hug after the first meeting before. But I got her number and I really plan on doing something with her to give us some one-on-one time b/c she thinks it would be cool too. Im thinking a nice walk around downtown after dark....b/c downtown is really THAT beautiful at night.

Im also going to be the leader for the next Wesly Outreach that happens the Sunday after this one. I've never been in such a big position before but Michelle (the one who offered it to me) has complete faith in my abilities. So.....i'm going to do it. Wish me luck.

Ok, that's about all I can muster out of my brain right now. I'm really hungry and I want to get to the Wesly now. Laid-Back Lunch and all...Oh and I might see Ashley there too. She reminds me of someone I used to see but I dont know her name. Anyway...I hope that quells your thirst for the time being.

~Love ya~

My Empire of Dirt

I am alive and well. Just been very busy lately I suppose. Today I dropped my Engineering class which was my major. I dont know what I want to switch over to though and that's been my big hurddle. Um...i'll write more soon...I promise....it's just this sunset is making me feel off right now and out of the writer's mood.

Slip Stream

"You know what I think would be cool? Having an evil twin. I mean, think about it. Like, you'd be frying some eggs in the morning, and then you'd leave the room and your evil twin would come in. Then when you got back you'd be like 'Dude, where are my eggs?' Or you'd be talking to your friend and it'd be like 'Alright, i'll see you guys at seven.' Then your evil twin would come in and say 'Sorry guys, I can't make it.' Then you'd be waiting at like Sonics all alone for an hour or so. I just think it'd make life really interesting."

-10 minutes later-

"Hey Corwin, I haven't seen you all day. Oh....did my evil twin talk to you guys about evil twins? Cause' sometimes he does that....it's weird."

And that's why I love Will....right there. Imagine that but like....10x better. And 5x daily.

Anyways, Im going to give you a nice statement that is in fact a big lie - Nothing much has really been going on with me recently. With that out of the way i suppose Im free to just spill my guts all over this page..and I intend to...just let me get back into that groove. It cant be an intentional thing...that would make it more like an assignment and not really me talking from my heart. I want to share with..whoever reads this..what's in my heart now but i want it to be interesting and just...in that flowing train of thought sort of way that Cait told me I have. I take it as a compliment really, and i've never forgotten it either.

So, i'm home once again and it's beginning to feel different. I have this..urge..a pulling feeling inside of me. I feel as if this home is not so much anymore, which is a weird feeling you know? I mean..i've grown up here...but now it feels as if im in someone else's place...and my real home is back on campus. Everything that I am right now is back on campus at this moment...and I want to get back to it. Erm...I feel as if im just trying spread things around now...sound like i've got a lot going on back there. I guess I do in a sense, but the things that I said were calling me...are in essence my own thoughts of things. They may not actually reflect what is reality....but it's my own private version of things. For instance, Im sure you may have noticed that Liz is taking over the majority of my thoughts. If you've been following my blog for any amount of time BEFORE blogger ate my whole senior year of highschool, then you know that this has happened on more than one occasion.

I fall fast and I fall hard. It takes time for me to pull myself out but..with Liz it's actually not just me staring at a girl across the room and imagining about it. Liz is an actual friend. We've talked and studied and eaten together and just..things you know. It's a nice change..being able to interact with people whenever. being stuck in this house for a year kept me away from people. It made them seem not so real. As soon as I came home, they stopped existing. Their home lives were none of my concern and I didnt even think that they had one. But now, being around these people who ARE home at school...it's...eye-opening to say the least.

But I digress. I know how intense I can be with my feelings at times..it's just my nature. I know that I've been so Liz-oriented recently that it may seem....scary. To be so..infatuated with one person...I dont want it to seem weird to anyone looking from the outside. All you know is what I tell you, but what goes on between her and I would show you that I've really not tried to pursue any sort of relationship with her. She said herself that she's not ready for another one. She's been tied to someone for 4 years and now that she's free she wants to enjoy herself. I understand completely..and i'm not just saying that. I honestly do. The more i'm around her the more I can see qualities of my mother in her...which is weird to say about someone I have a crush on but I'm being honest here so dont freak out ok? My mom's always had to take care of us (children) and she's never had any time to herself. But now she does and I;m happy for her. She's going to college as a testament also. Liz's statement about knowing when she'd be ready to engage in a relationship again is totaly understandable. The very first time she let those words fly from her lips I did feel a little disheartened. But theres so much there, so much to be had and so much already given, it's more than just that little crush. That's in my heart but we're friends, and that means a lot more.

I was going to just move on to another subject now but....i'm hardly on the computer anymore and i've so much in my head that I feel like continuing. So bear with me, this may be the longest post I make that's purely of my own thought. I'm letting it all spill out now. So, to continue with Liz. She's a very interesting girl to say the least. We've been talking recently about past lives and her philosophy on religion and spirituality. She's into horoscopes and things of that nature and I still am a little. I mean, im not pursuing it b/c I have....other things.....to fill that with (more later in the post) but I understand all of her thoughts and ideas and I actually have taken a few of her words to heart. Anyway, we were talking about past lives and she told me that she thinks to fully understand the world you have to live life from all the different perspectives. She believes that in her past life she must have been a guy b/c she prefers to be around males and gets along with them better than with females. To quote her, "Girls are stupid."

And now i've come into a conflict of interests here. I want to keep telling, sharing what her thoughts and ideas and our talks have been about but.....if I did, you'd know all of this and it wouldn't be so special to me that I AM her friend and have all of this in my mind. Yeah.....yeah, i'm keeping the rest to myself...I did forget that some people frequent my blog now. I'm not a gossip and I value all my time with her, and it's for that reason that I cannot keep telling you these things. Sorry guys....So yeah...lets move on.

I've been going to this on campus ministry lately. Well, for the past 5 weeks. It's called the Wesly Foundation and it's an awesome place. There are just...such great people there and it's been a growing experience for me honestly. Thursday Nights are House of Prayer and the last one was the most....I dunno. Let me just explain. This night we were all laying hands on each other, praying for one another's problems you know? We all sat around in a nice circle in the chapel and listened to each other and prayed. And then..i tried talking but, as soon as I opened my mouth I started to cry. I knew what I wanted to say but it was being frozen in my head and I couldn't get it all out like I wanted. I got to a point and then I just broke down. They all held me and embraced me and it was....deep. Jay had me around my neck and he was whispering his prayer into my ear and Eric had me around my chest and it was...I dont know how to describe it really. I was just sobbing hard and then I stopped. I suddenly felt calm and ok.

It just was....

And now I dont feel like writing anymore. Gimme a while and I'll make another post to add to this one.

To Cait

I be doing well. And yourself?

Midnight Breakfast

It was Terrific...I suggest you all go to at least one in your lifetime.

Fortune Cookie

I went to China Buffet with Liz on Wednesday night and my fortune cookie read:

"You are the evening star in someone's romantic eye."

I wish...

So what's been going on with that Jones boy lately anyway? Well, not too much really. School tends to get in the way of all the fun stuff you know. Like i said, Wednesday Liz and I studied even more for our Chem. Test that was on Thursday. But you know...going a day without eating tends to make one hungry so we went out to the China Buffet. Liz doesn't want to go there anymore b/c they're expensive....but I suppose it was b/c we didnt really eat too much. So...not our money's worth this time. Um, I went to the Wesly Thursday night b/c Liz was MIA after the test. I prayed for a lot of things...mainly that everyone else would be safe and protected...I also prayed that Liz would be ok too cause I was worried about her. Friday I only have one class and I had really wanted to Hang with Liz afterwards but we had a little game of phone tag and I ended up with some other peoples and what-not. I made 2 new friends in 2 days though so that was cool. Well...more like a whole lot but anyways. Candace I met at the prayer meeting and Megan I met while randomly advertising for a show at the Wesly last night. Both of them are pretty cool people and I'm looking forward to getting to know them better and becomming good friends with them. Candace has a cool accent from Arkansas and Megan has wicked pitch black Halloween hair. Oh, the night of the prayer meeting the bathrooms acted up and flooded so we spent a good hour cleaning up the mess....all 8 of us there. It was actually pretty fun...though potty water isnt the best thing to draw people together like that. There's a really nie picture of Candace on the wall in teh Wesly now. She's got a funny look on her face and she's going into the mens bathroom so it was a really good picture in my opinion.

I've never been in such an environment where sex and drugs are such a real thing...like they arent just words and thoughts....they're actions and items here. I mean...the other night i say the beginnings of a threesome. And the guy next to my old room went to jail for 2 1/2 days for posession. I dunno....sometimes i feel like the only person in the world who's actually pure....i know it's not true but I honestly feel like it often...

I had the worst dream of my life Thursday night. It was absolutly horrid and i woke up just scared to death. I'd explain it to you but...i dont know how effective I am at story telling.....

~It involved the other side....spirits and what not. It had a religious undertone to it also which just made it more evil. There was like some sort of haunting around my grandparents house so we (the family) sorta decided to see for ourselves what was the deal. My uncle performed some sort of seance but this one went WAAY further than what you'd consider real. We were all in the kitchen for it and the hole house was pitch black, even the kitchen. Suddenly, the ceiling started to glow white. It was faint...like if you've ever just pointed a flashlight to a white ceiling....it was about that sort of light. Then it started to snow inside and then we were suddenly in like a dead zone. It was snowing there too and we were outside of some house in the middle of nowhere...but everything was dead grey...like a perpetual winter state. I saw this lady circling the house and we all knew it was a spirit but I was so scared to go over to her. Um, the next thing i remember is seeing the face of a girl...and like some narrator kind of mode that explained why this spirit was haunting our house. It went by like a film but the scenes scared me to death. Apparently there was a little girl and her mother was just evil to her and it drove the girl to madness....but she didnt hurt the mother...she hurt herself and I saw it all. The most im willing to share is one scene of her sitting ina pitch black room crying hysterically and stabbing her foot from the side ovr and over just hard and deep and fast and just....it was horrible. Then after that scene was over, the family wanted ME to go and fix the situation...like go and help the girl.....i was too scared to even move....and then I woke up and i was just paranoid and scared and i've never had anything like that happen to me before~

Well....I dont know what else to talk about right now. I mean....nothing really TO talk about....but then maybe im just being modest with ya....

Later

~Addendums~

Message from Liz -----
From: Liz -----
To: Corwin Jones
Subject: Corwin!!!!!!!!
Message: U are really sweet, and its so fun gettin to know you! Hurry up an do ur thang in s'port an haul ass back to ruston! Peace hommie!!

Liz

Ok..i've talked about her enough to merit her an unofficial Key....seeing as how my keychain has collected enough dust to repair the ozone layer. Anyways..here goes...lets see if I remember how to do this...


Elizabeth...Liz as she goes by. I dont quite know what it is about her that I like so much..maybe its the way she shoots her glances at me...the way her mouth smirks up in that certain way and her eyebrows move..as if we were secretly involved in some dubious scheme and it was all about to go down at that moment. Or maybe it's the way she talks to me...so easy and relaxed..but with a hint of humor every so often. Heh.."Yeah right! You dont have anything to do Monday, stop acting like a girl Corwin!" or "You don't know what you're talking about do ya? Huh?Huh?Huh?" come to my mind....and bring a smile to my face as well. She has one of those voices...low and mellow...tinted with age and hidden intelligence, but still peppered with youth. Perhaps its her size...she's a small girl...slender and petite...she inspires that protective instinct in me...even though she's capable of handling herself...which is something I wont forget.

Blah....im too tired to keep that higher vocab way of writing up..so i'll just go back to my simple rambling...with details...as i love details. Um, ok, so when we went to do our study session last week, the first place we went to was the bookstore b/c she need scantrons. The first place she went to though was the clothing section. No biggie about it but she made a comment or 2 (i think) along the line of "Come on Corwin, you're supposed to be telling me what you think looks good." Now that i think of it, I think (correct me if im wrong) that maybe she said that because she wants me to think she looks good. Like a "catch his eye" sort of thing. Anyways, when we were studying, we laughed a lot and she did criticize me jokingly when i did make mistakes with the material..but i loved it. Especially the way she would workd her sentences and just come on the attack...she would make it seem like I was just completely wrong and it was all my fault that i messed her up..but then she'd look a the answer and go "So you were right." It was hilarious. Anyways, we were supposed to meet again on Friday to do more studying, but she couldn't make it...and she called to tell me too. So I called her later and made arrangements...and if im not too busy then we're supposed to go back to her place to study this time.

Before you get all giggly on me...i just want it recorded that I didn't make an ass out of myself when she proposed that idea.

So...needless to say...im crushing on Liz. She's had a few bf's in the past, the last one was of 4 years, and she said that she didn't want anything serious. And she told me that she doesnt want someone who'll check on her everyday...not that she'd do anything but just the idea of being kept on tabs. At least i wont make a mistake on that front. So people's, I could keep rambling but....its nothing interesting I bet. So leave me some nice comments and some advice you know...that'd be coolies. Im sleepy though so goodnight!